Diplomatic Dilettante T-Shirts

'We'll be planning to invade Ecuador as soon as I can find it on the map.'

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

"...I try to communicate with Desmond, but all he ever does is grunt."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'Should I buy or sell?'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

One Way/Two Ways.

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

"What's my password? Oh yeah... 'OnCe upona thimeh.'"

Time Out Room

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."

"To succeed you need luck and pluck. That is, luck in finding someone to pluck."