Drama Dilettante T-Shirts

"Aeschylus is good, I suppose, but I go to the theatre to relax."

'If you must give me withering glances, could you focus on me and spare the plants?'

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

"...I try to communicate with Desmond, but all he ever does is grunt."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

'Should I buy or sell?'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

Sitting Out the Lambada

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

One Way/Two Ways.

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

Time Out Room

Entomology Reference: Bees, wasps, drones.

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."