Dialogue Dilettante T-Shirts

"...I try to communicate with Desmond, but all he ever does is grunt."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

'Should I buy or sell?'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

One Way/Two Ways.

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'