Executive Dilettante T-Shirts

"To succeed you need luck and pluck. That is, luck in finding someone to pluck."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'Should I buy or sell?'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

The singles bar...

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."