Dip Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Fancy a dip?"

'No ice.'

Join me in a Martini?

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

'Fried chickens.'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Aromatherapy for Men

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Next Round Indicator

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

Pet owner pours out contents of treats for dog that are oddly shaped. Box titled: 'Funny Bones'.

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Climbing up a chair to take a bag of potato crisps out of the cupboard five times a day does nor count as exercise, sir!'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

"Do you want a drink or do you need a drink ? We're very busy...."

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

"Brian's considering the optics."

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

'I asked for a report on the long and short of it, Henderson - This only addresses the breadth and depth.'

'Do you have bottled spring water?'

Eventual Motion Machine

Pickled beets.

'These drinks have been watered down.'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

'So when's happy hour?'