Diploma Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Thanks, I started collecting diplomas when I was seven.'

'No ice.'

Join me in a Martini?

Archimedes statue with a lever

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'Fried chickens.'

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

Music Student

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Next Round Indicator

"Some Debussy, Igor."

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

Sir Edward Elgar

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Brahms and Liszt at Christmas!

S**t Threw a Goose

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"How awful! - was he a band, or an orchestra conductor?"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

Trappist talk show.

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

"Do you want a drink or do you need a drink ? We're very busy...."