Dinosaur Humorist Gifts

"The arms wouldn't be so noticeable if he'd stop playing air guitar."

T-rex takes a selfie

City Zoo: Day Care

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Too much concealer?"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Scuba cow"

Hats and Food

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Pray for me.'

No jay walking.