Dinosaur Humorist Gifts

"The arms wouldn't be so noticeable if he'd stop playing air guitar."

T-rex takes a selfie

City Zoo: Day Care

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Too much concealer?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Hats and Food

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Scuba cow"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Jurassic Pork.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Pray for me.'