Dinner Table Giggler T-Shirts

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

The Main Types of Cheese

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.