Home Chef Giggler T-Shirts

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"You do like octopus?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Party time.

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"I might just get a pie."

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'