Kitchen Giggler T-Shirts

'What do you mean, stuff the chicken? It wasn't empty.'

The Busy Gardener

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Yard Sale

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Beginning Yarder.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'