Dinner Invites T-Shirts

"Of course there's no food! I didn't expect anyone to be here."

Grace For Flies

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

Party time.

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

Horn of Leftovers

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

'Tasty bird.'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

Trustworthy Authority.

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"The host? He'll be the guy standing here, alone, when the wine's gone."

'Why is it when ever we have guests, you have to go and make a scene?'

'You wished to see the house red?'

"Would you care for something to talk about during dinner?"

The Butlers Ball.

'Come to our microbrew party. It's B.Y.O.B. Bring Your Own Brewery.'

"Perhaps it was the eel," The Lefleurs commiserate with their paying guest.

After-Life Mints

'And don't you touch that mammoth in the freezer. I'm saving it for company.'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

"Could you handle this...I'm all decisioned-out for today."

Dinner chat.

'When you invited me out fot dinner, I thought you meant...' 'Shhh!'