Dinner Etiquette Explorer T-Shirts

"And what made you think that this neanderthal would be able to eat with a knife and fork?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

"Great coffee, Carole."

Platter confusion.

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"The last doggy bag."

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

"What a slobster."

"Guys, remember, no feeding frenzy: Leave some for Grandpa to chew on..."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"Guys, guys! He's pointing at me! This is great, I've never been picked first before!"

Screen Time at the Dining Table

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

The Last Dinner

"So you mean to tell me that this business dinner actually involves business?"

"A table for two? Would you like chairs with that, madam?"

"Oh, but it's fine for you to hang out where I eat."

I'll have a hamburger.

"Oh, don't worry about that—it only goes off when someone taps 'no tip.'"

The wine and water lists.

'Is anything O.K.?'

'It's not nouvelle cuisine, Monsieur. You've ordered from the children's menu.'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."