Dinner Discussion Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Everything's off except the weak and the sick.'

"You do like octopus?"

"You owe me five bucks."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Benihana style of cooking.

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

Choice hellhole

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"The usual."

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'