Dining Dialogue Enthusiast T-Shirts

'May I caution that the term 'Happy meal' refers to the meal itself rather than to any effect it may have.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Am Awful Crammer.

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"You and your daft inventions."

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

Saying Grace.

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"