Dining Out With A Twist Fan Pillows

'I'll take the rest home in a body bag.'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"What did Jesus order?"

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"How about a little more coffee?"

Sand danger

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"I trust this will be on one check."

"We think it sort of brightens up the breakfast."

"Hey, Merle, table 8 wants ham and eggs. . . Errr. . . chocolate!"

OPENING NIGHT OF HARVEY'S CANOE RESTAURANT WAS A HUGE SUCCESS...DESPITE THE CAPSIZE INCIDENT

'Red meat is bad for you.' 'No, red meat is not bad for me. Green meat is bad for me!'

"I asked you nicely to stay in the waiting room."

Earthworm Stampede

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

Good grief! What did we order?!

"I don't want any pie, so can I get Ice Cream A La Mode!"

'I'll have a dozen custard pies as well, please!'