Dining Judges Gifts

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"Expense account or regular?"

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Great coffee, Carole."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"Don't tell him anything."

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

'Mine was stone cold.'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

Plane with banner shoots at another.

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"If you represent special interests, I can seat you immediately."

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"