Dining Critics Gifts

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Your lobster was off!

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

'It's my favorite.'

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Great coffee, Carole."

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"Expense account or regular?"

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"Would you like to see the markup?"