Dining Enthusiast With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

hard-boiled egg...

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'The Burrito King.'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Banana Split Personality

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

The Main Types of Cheese

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

Diner

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Baloneystini