Dining Debate Specialist Pillows

'Now, let's not foolishly argue about who's paying the bill.' - 'I agree. I'm broke anyway.'

"You owe me five bucks."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Mayo-A-Mayo

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

"Oh, put a cork in it...the bottle, you, the wine steward."

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

'Are the shellfish safe?'-'Certainly, sir- we keep them locked up in the kitchen.'

The Last Dinner

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

The Birth of Philosophical Thought Experiments.