Diner Owner Pillows

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"The Grumpy Old Man comes with a side of, Get A haircut, Turn That Thing Down or Get Off My Lawn."

'You don't need a menu here, mate. If you can't see it on my apron, we don't sell it.'

Soup on a stick

"And all of our sandwiches come bundled with chips and a pickle"

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

'Everytime I pass through here I get heartburn.'

'I fired him ten minutes ago.'

'Mmm - that looks good.'

'I'll give you a great deal on this one- it got stepped on.'

'Is that freshly brewed?'

"I ran a jingle contest and only had one entry"

'Did anyone save a stomach for dessert?'

Hugo's in a peevish mood today, I'd finish that broccoli if I were you

'Pig's feet?' 'I'm hungry. Size 12 please.'

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

"So, who ordered the burger platter with endless fries?"

"That's probably for me."

"We also have some specials on our 'Just Like Mother Made' menu."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"We also have pease porridge, hot or cold. Not terribly fresh, I'm afraid."

"The usual."

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

"Would it kill ya to call home once in a while?"

"So what exactly is wrong with the teabag? Nobody else has complained about it!"

"Salt mill?"

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

A train's dining car is a diner.

Breakfast at the Pro-Choice Diner.

"There's an old-school barbecue guy in 'House of Cards' who always has a plate ready for the main character....and the main character's evil."

"4 eggs, no discernable style."

Yeah, I got a tip for you, Ma...blurp...go easy on the green peppers.

New grapefruit safety standard.

'Soccer Mom's Diner.'

Diner has sign: Ask about our frequent fryer plan.