Diner Nostalgist T-Shirts

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Diner.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

'How would you like your toast?'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"A votre sante!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"The usual."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'