Diner Junkie T-Shirts

"I believe I'll pass on the coffee."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Hey, you two! What did I say about sharing?!"

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

'How would you like your toast?'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

Baracracy

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"A votre sante!"

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'