Diner Junkie Gifts

"I believe I'll pass on the coffee."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Hey, you two! What did I say about sharing?!"

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'How would you like your toast?'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"A votre sante!"

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"So, you folks see anything you'd like?"