Diner Daredevil Pillows

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

Party time.

'Brie okay?.' 'Very runny.'

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Gigot de sept heures."

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

"More?"

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"Don't tell anyone, but I'll have the devil's food cake."

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'What the devil is that?

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

'Not whale stew again.'

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

So much for the chef's surprise.

"Are you ready now for your "Bomb Surprise" dessert?"

Please pass the fire extinguisher.

"And for dessert we offer death by chocolate, after life sponge, or the damned for eternity tart."

"Hold on! Baxter's trying to tell us something..." "The kitchen is on fire"

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

Woman finds something in her soup.

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'