Digital Tactician Pillows

Armed Forces: We are need in of computer hackers to handle our cyber warfare defenses.

"Ms Hathaway, I need to test my mettle. Find someone on social media who thinks they can bully me."

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

Alternative fielding positions

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"Hack back with all you've got!"

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

"Hi, I designed this Sim Game and I'm checking on staff morale."

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

Stone Age

They're inflatable trade barriers!

'Now that we're an E-business, maybe we should buy a computer.'

Playing chess with a QR code for a chessboard

Doctor handing cell phone to patient: 'Here, take this and call me in the morning.'

Wi-Fi password?

Modern Warfare