Digital Sociologist Gifts

"This is too stressful out here. I'm going to start begging on the internet."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

The Modern Novel.

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Woman on the phone.

"Fact amnesty"

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

Computer help.

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

Modern Narcissism

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

Communication

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

The Thinker (with a laptop).

Digito Ergo Sum.