Digital Sheriff Pillows

Policeman using a frisk engine on the internet

Hate Platforms

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Computer Expert

Where was I?

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Terry had a computer bug.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

S.S.dot.com

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'