Online Sheriff Pillows

'Hold on, Ma, he's posting.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Billy. The Kid.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

The Lawman

"According to national law you're innocent but national law counts less than. . ."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Sheriff.

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

Investigating Yourself

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

Gun Ego

The modern sheriff.

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

"Don't even think about it, cowboy."

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

Uh-oh!

'What about high noon? Is high noon good for you?'