Social Media Sheriff Pillows

"This internet forum ain't big enough fer the two of us."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

The Lawman

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

"According to national law you're innocent but national law counts less than. . ."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Rumours Online

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Sheriff.

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

Gun Ego

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

The modern sheriff.

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

'You two gun Billy one leg the bandit?'

I could clean up this town if I could keep my gun belt on.

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

Uh-oh!

'They say he came to clean up the town.'