Social Media Sheriff Pillows

"This internet forum ain't big enough fer the two of us."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"According to national law you're innocent but national law counts less than. . ."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Rumours Online

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

The Lawman

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Sheriff.

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

Investigating Yourself

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

Gun Ego

The modern sheriff.

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

The Government is now following you...

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

"Don't even think about it, cowboy."

'They say he came to clean up the town.'

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

Uh-oh!

'What about high noon? Is high noon good for you?'