Digital Procrastinator Gifts

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"I’ve finally caught up on all the reels you’ve sent me."

"Our privacy terms have changed. Do you care?"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

Working from home to-do list.

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

"Shouldn't you be studying?

The Last-Minute Halloween Costume Parade

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

The Procrastinatorium.

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"Where do you come up with your rationalizations for not writing?"

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

"Thanks for coming in on the weekend....although let's admit it, you took a nap at your desk that happened to last all night..."

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'