Digital Laggards Pillows

'I tried to teach him to text, but you can't teach an old dog new tech.'

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

Rare Books

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

Whenever I'm feeling lonely, I just turn off my ad blocker.

"Far out Nigel, I know you're a purist, but at some point, you'll need to switch to e-books like the rest of us..."

"At least now when mom and dad fight it's quieter."

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

'Godfrey is our only man who retains the skill to check e-books against original source material.'

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'Don't get smart with me!'

"It keeps track of how long you've been wearing workout clothes without actually working out."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet...where the hell am I??"

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

'I'm afraid keeping up with digital technology has finally taken its toll.'

"Management is all about getting from A to B, or was it A to C, or D. . . I'm sure it had an A in it!"

"What?"

'My computers down again!'

Mel Gibson stars as, 'The Man with No Facebook.'

'Babiesforsale.com'

Peasant's emancipation.

"I bought something off the Internet, but I can't find it in my computer. Online shopping is overrated."

Homeless man on internet looking at homeless page.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS when out running!"

'This trouble causer, wants to pay with cash!'

The Thumbs Have Had Enough: "I'm, like, hello, we evolved so you could pick stuff up, not so you could scroll yourself into oblivion!"

'Stop following me. I want to be incommunicado!'

"Remember, you'll never find true enlightenment through search engines."

"I don't think tech support can help me. I need a tech support group."