Tech Weary Scroller Pillows

The Thumbs Have Had Enough: "I'm, like, hello, we evolved so you could pick stuff up, not so you could scroll yourself into oblivion!"

"Well what does the GPS say?"

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

"It's amazing! There's even a place to put your beer!"

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

Why god isn't listening...

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

"I miss the old days."

The Tell-Tale Heart 2: Lost Phone On Vibrate

'Welcome to I shell.'

"I'd be happy if I got half the attention and was half as clever as my kids' smartphones."

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

I hate blind carbon copies when the computers are down.

"Nelson loves his Satellite Radio."

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"It keeps track of how long you've been wearing workout clothes without actually working out."

'This circular motion I'm making with my hand indicates the content is still loading.'

The smartphone app learning curve

"If it makes you feel better...I usually don't understand what I'm doing either."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet...where the hell am I??"

“Something’s wrong with my android.”

'Michael, go in there and help your father before he throws another tantrum.'

"The following program contains technology terminology. Millennial guidance is advised."

I don't think I'm ready yet for the information age.

"Ever since you punished me by taking my phone, I've been able to better relate to those blues songs you listen to."

Curse my hooves, and predictive text!

Galileo GPS project.

'I lifted the user's manual for this software with one hand and . . . '

"OK, Zoomer"

'Stop following me. I want to be incommunicado!'

"Excuse me, I'm lost. Can you direct me to the information superhighway?"