Tech Weary Wanderers Pillows

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet...where the hell am I??"

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Well what does the GPS say?"

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"Could you fellas tell me if there's anyplace around here where I could find a fax machine?"

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

Whenever I'm feeling lonely, I just turn off my ad blocker.

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

'Welcome to I shell.'

"Nelson loves his Satellite Radio."

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'Warning - no cell phone service next 20 miles.'

"Your cell phone isn't bugged by 'Pegasus'? You're not important enough. . . you loser!"

'What I'm up to? The usual dude, just roaming the plains: There's nothing else to do...'

"Hey, Siri. Remind me why I married a man who couldn’t find his way out of our driveway."

"I wonder what our phones are doing right now."

No Phone Signal For 20 Miles. Trauma Counselors Standing by. . .

"The following program contains technology terminology. Millennial guidance is advised."

I don't think I'm ready yet for the information age.

Galileo GPS project.

"They recommend juvenile supervision when programming the remote."

Here's our cabin. Isn't it spectacular? It's awfully quiet. Exactly! No traffic. No motor boats. No malls. Not even any bars! No bars?!

Homeless man on internet looking at homeless page.

"Get off the internet and get a life."

"OK, Zoomer"

'Stop following me. I want to be incommunicado!'

The Thumbs Have Had Enough: "I'm, like, hello, we evolved so you could pick stuff up, not so you could scroll yourself into oblivion!"