Digital Jugglers T-Shirts

"Walking while chewing gum is easy. But throwing in staying on top of your social media really kicks it up a notch."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Information Tightrope.

"Hello?"

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'And Fenwick, those pesky third quarter stats? Don't tweak 'em �' torque 'em!'

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

Better phone upstairs for the latest figures.

'It's for you.'

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

'Sims, thought it was the data, but it's actually you that's flawed.'

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

Ugh, you go ahead – I have five months of emails to catch up on.

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

Trapeze artists.

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

'Why Mr. Root, I had no idea you were not happy with your work here at crisis services!'

"I'll call you back. I'm in the middle of a make-over."

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

"Our smart home is blowing up my text. The oven is mad at the dishwasher. The dishwasher is mad at the lights. The lights are mad at the TV. And I thought out kids fought a lot."

'The artist inside me struggling to get out is starting to take over my classroom!'

"Are you O.K.? You're barely paying attention to your book, phone, show, laptop, and the crossword you started ten minutes ago."

"Everyone off the internet, I have a meeting to attend."

Argh, now his screen is big! Isn't there a button that puts all my ducks in a row?