Digital Identity Gifts

"Here lies Barry and his several social media identities."

"My password? O.K... I remember writing it down on a small piece of yellow paper. I think it went through the wash. When I set up this account, I was dating Adam. So that must have been... 2007... 2008? What was my number in 2008? Was that before I had to change it? Should I ask Adam? No, definitely do not call Adam. O.K. recovery questions: who was my best friend in 2008? Wait. Was Sam my best friend in 2008? Should I say it was Adam? NO ...... "

"… Well, I don’t know. But if you’re not, you certainly should be Googleable."

"To whom am I speaking? Your real personality or the one you have online?"

"Instagram, Facebook, tic tok but who is the real ME?"

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"Fact amnesty"

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

Silver Surfer.

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

Internet Name Tags.

"You knew I was straight when you married me."

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"Those are the basic necessities of life? Aren't you forgetting something?"

Man and dog with QR-code heads.

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"'Dear Mrs. Zeus?!' The name's Hera!"

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."