Digital Footprint Philosopher Gifts

Boy, you were this close to getting in until I checked these photos of you on Facebook.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

The Googler

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

Computer help.

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

Domestic Spying Drones

I think therefore I am.

Information about information about information about information.

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.