Digital Drama Follower Pillows

'You have entered the wrong password. Please hold while we transfer you to klutz support.'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

"You're not the 'Yes Man' you used to be, Smilby."

"Yes, tech support? My laptop was really slow, so I shot it – what should I do now?"

'You're watching the stock market wayyy too closely.'

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

My name is Bob and my laptop crashed! Tech Support Groups.

"What's that?" "I hit the icon marked 'worst case senario'."

"It's not you, it's me – I automatically updated overnight and we're no longer compatible."

He's just discovereed that our £450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in swindon using his mum's computer.

"Oh dear, it seems your file has been routinely destroyed."

"Who should I call first: 911 or technical support?"

"Frank here used to teach high school physiology, so if you value your Zygomatic arch or your Alveolar margins, you'll start talking."

'That's a male-pattern bald-faced untruth.'

"Sorry, honey. Did we wake you with our weeping and gnashing of teeth?"

"Stop! Someone's texting!!!"

"Honey, I forgot my password hint answer. Which plague did my mother compare you to?"

'Let's just say you've unfriended the wrong person!'

A Girl's Guide to using a Mobile Phone

Although it would take a lot of hard work and years of therapy, hardcore gaming couple Jim and Anita would eventually get past Jim's infidelity,

"And as you can see, my beautiful assistant has disappeared...months ago...with my brother."

'At least I leave with the knowledge I did it all my way.'

"Describing it as a life-changing experience that will haunt you for years to come may be a little dramatic. After all, our Internet was only down for an hour."

What is it about BBC One's reboot of Poldark which attracts so many viewers?"

"My boyfriend is lazy, cheap and a total control freak...but I never say anything bad about him."

"You've been sending steamy e-mails to that woman in Florida again!"

'This says anger spreads faster than positive emotions on the Internet.'

Big Louie didn't have a lot of patience with computers.