Digital Dissenter Gifts

Thanks for not tweeting me. I don't give a hoot what you're doing right now.

'He's a rebel without a cause.'

The Proust of Twitter

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"I virtually finished my homework."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

Assange Among Friends

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

"Siri, are you out of your mind?!"

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"