Digital Dialogue Dabblers Pillows

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

Text Culture

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

The Proust of Twitter

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Socially distanced sledding

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

I can't keep up, Randy. What happened, little buddy? You know how I created a hate-bot to automate my back you up in online arguments business? Don't tell me: The Russian troll farms beat you to it. No. My hate-bot became sentient and created an even snarkier hate-bot. Mankind is officially obsolete. For an extra $1, the HB-1000 will throw in racism and misogyny.

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

The Screeeen!

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

"When I evolve I'm going to be an elephant."

"No need to Whatsapp me dear, I'm right here."

'That brush - how many dpi?'

"Uncommunicative? Have you tried texting him?"

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

"Ugh... Jerry Saltz is totally junking up my feed again."