Digital Companion Lover Pillows

Pretty Soon: Robot pets won't provide the valuable life lessons flesh pets did.

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Canine Companion

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

Dog Crossing

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

"Yeah, you were right! The indoor wheel is fun, but running in the park is a lot better..."

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

The Unsportables: Relay

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

Unicorn in the Woods

Hunter-gatherer. Planter-gardener. Scratcher-napper. Barker-wagger. Complainer-nagger.

Welcome back! What a day! As you can see, our tree has been heavily pruned, but the kind arborist has saved our nest...

'Just think...summer's coming, and everyday will be like Saturday morning!'

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

Strategies that will always work

A man shoots at a drone.

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

Dalmation with soccer ball: Soccer Hound.

Puppy and Kitten.

Travel Advice to Dog Owners. . . On those long car trips allow time to stop so he can do his business.

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

"Unlike the case for dogs, the people that cats own don't grow to look like them. I mean, seriously, what human could look as good as this?"

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

'And whenever I attempt cybersex, my computer freezes.'

"I didn't mind that his Valentine was a e-card. The big letdown was getting the box of e-chocolates."

over crowded car.

'Oh - My - God - I think I'm virtually married.'

(The really ugly duckling)