Digital Bandit Pillows

'I asked the agency to send someone who is good at stealing cars and killing people and they sent YOU?'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

Fish talking about fisherman

Shore fishing requires threading the needle.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"I've diligently spent the last eight hours saving an entire colony of elves from a pack of vicious dragons and your only concern is that it is 2 am?"

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'They said before they start biting do we practice catch and release?'

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

Book Thief in True Crime Department

'I've had a lot of experience at this. My Mom keeps the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator.'

'Hey, you little punks wouldn't be trying to swamp me, would you?'

Bureau of Buzzwords

People told me virtual dating was safe!

The Specimen Hunter

'Internet' 'Internot'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Fisher being dragged along by catch.

"Before we analyze the data, we must analyze the person who came up with the data."

Round-the-world cyclist has world stolen

4 pm MEET THE COPYCAT AUTHOR

Man fishing out of another man's fishing box.

Plagiarism

He also buried the bitcoin password in the treasure chest.

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

The reason why moments like this are utterly wasted on advertising people...

'I must warn you: I'm a level 85 Death Knight!'

'Yes, yours is a myopic cell.'

'Professional downloader of Napster files' looking for work

'This is a stick-up! Hand over your fish!'

The arrival of girl scout cookies sparks a rise in black bear activity...

'Tell me the truth...does this dead body make me look fat?'

'No, Alex! This is our ‘A Penny For Your Thoughts' meeting. Stop throwing in your two cents worth!'

Horse racing is the only sport where a 3 year old can make an adult behave like a baby!