Digital Addict Pillows

"I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry."

Mobile Hell - "Oh no! No signal!"

"Well, I think we've finally cured your obsession with the internet..."

"I need a more interactive you."

Social Media

"Doom scrolling."

'Help! Tech-gadgeted myself into poverty!'

Digital Daze: Texting during a meeting.

"Oh sure, there's eternal damnation and all that...but he, free wifi!"

"Ok, no more Mr. Nice Guy. Grab his phone!"

The Computer Bore

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

'I need a life saving app. I need a life saving app.'

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

IT staffer vacation tan lines.

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

"Noooooooooooo!"

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Honey, what's the weather like outside?" "Hold on, let me check..."

"So, what do you think about the web developer course you are taking?"