Digi-dining Enthusiast T-Shirts

'...and would you like your meal in a PDF file as well, sir?'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'Who gets the decaf?'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Am Awful Crammer.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.