Digestive Health Buff Gifts

'No buns of steel, but he does have a cast iron gut!'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"I'm going to get you fired."

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Flan-eating bacteria

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

Gullib-Os

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'My dentist recommended it.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'Okay darlin' if you need more whipped cream just hit the red button.'

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Body Systems

Bacterial Cultural Center

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

"Uh-Oh!"

Bagel problems.

"Bacteria are fascinating. They multiply by dividing."

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."