Heart Health Buff Gifts

Coronary Street.

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'I could have had a V-8!'

'He's a changed man since the heart transplant. It came form a liberal.'

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

Safe driver.

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

Zika Mosquitos

'In factory farms they're fed antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and even arsenic. We give them a lot less of the antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and arsenic.'

'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'

"Oh believe me, I know full well the importance of nutrition: If I had been fed more Royal Jelly, I would be a queen now..."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'