Heart Health Buff Gifts

Coronary Street.

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

'He's a changed man since the heart transplant. It came form a liberal.'

Safe driver.

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

'I could have had a V-8!'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

'In factory farms they're fed antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and even arsenic. We give them a lot less of the antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and arsenic.'

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

Zika Mosquitos

'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

"Oh believe me, I know full well the importance of nutrition: If I had been fed more Royal Jelly, I would be a queen now..."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'