Diet Dilemma Ponderer Gifts

'I'm semi-bulimic, I binge but I don't purge.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

'Excellent napkin.'

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

Fast food trap.

Need to block those Cookies Santa!

'You were right, doc. Blood is thicker than water.'

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

"Does skipping breakfast count as both exercise and dieting?"

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

'Troubled about eating meat? Ethicist on the premises.'

"Every time I go on a diet, he brings up the land of milk and honey."

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

Innovate - man boobs and gut bra.

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

"Our menu is divided into three sections... low carb, low sodium and WTF!"

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

'Gorgeous or gorging, why do I always have to choose?'

"It's OK, I'm on a meat day."

"That's what happens when you combine lo carb with lo fat fat diets."