Diet Appreciation Day Pillows

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

Menu Dating

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

Back in 5 minutes!

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"I might just get a pie."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

WHACK!

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Am Awful Crammer.

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

Old Spice

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

Thank you

Slow food restaurant

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

'…and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day.'

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."