Diary Snooper Pillows

"I've been reading Sis's diary, Dad -- You have that 'birds and bees' stuff all wrong."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Professional woman in pub

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"My life must really be boring. I asked the guy why he hacked into my social media and he replied that reading it helps him get to sleep a night."

'Lost Diary'

"Did you remember to do everything I asked, even the small things I said in passing that didn't sound like real requests?"

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

Sponge Blog

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

Gigolo Diary

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

The Subpoenaed Diaries Of Anïs Nin

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

"Dear diary, I'm leaving you for a Twitter account—it's not you, it's technology..."

Marilyn Monroe's secret diary

"Dear Diary, Ate linguini for the first time tonight..."

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

'Beware of the Dog poo'

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

"When I grow up I want to be a journalist. I love sneaking around and reading journals."

Mystic's Diary

Dear Diary. . . New Year's Resolutions: lose weight, drink less, spend less on clothes. . . stop kidding myself!

"We'll you're never gonna get it."

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

'Join me in a Gelato!'