Snoopers Pillows

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

"My life must really be boring. I asked the guy why he hacked into my social media and he replied that reading it helps him get to sleep a night."

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Good luck with all the revision!!!

'Beware of the Dog poo'

"Yes, I know it's spring dear. But can I just have another day or two in bed?"

Flight nap

"When I grow up I want to be a journalist. I love sneaking around and reading journals."

'This is an up and coming area. You may wish to shave before you buy the paper in future.'

Golfer searching for lost golf ball neglecting to notice the broken window.

"My dad falls asleep five minutes after he turns on the TV."

"Chef Voyeurdee"

'I think I like sitting here instead of in our back yard better. . . it's more interesting seen' what everybody's up to on our street. I guess we're just people persons.'

"I like looking at amateur porn, because I like seeing other people's apartments."

Boss about employee: 'He has a spark of genius, but he also has ignition problems.'

'Hey, our neighbor has the same model telescope as we do!'

Keeping Up With The DoorDashians

"That family up the road who you're always trying to keep up with - she's left him."

Man Finally Gets out of Bed.

"I've been reading Sis's diary, Dad -- You have that 'birds and bees' stuff all wrong."

"Dios mio."

'Sorry I'm late - I was asleep when my alarm went off.'

'She's calling him names I never heard before!'

Sistus Curiosa

"Your papi always falls asleep when he turns on the TV."

"I see her at number 27 is nosing again."

"Here you are - choose what you want to sleep through tonight."

Neighborhood Dog Watch

"Most men have a Type A or Type B personality. His is Type Z-Z-Z-Z-Z."