Diary Scribes Gifts

"Dear Diary - Today has been . . . er. . . the. . . um. . . most recent day in my life. . ."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Waiting Room For Godot.

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

Sponge Blog

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'I wish you wouldn't correct my grammar when you read my diary.'

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"His prose, however, is very elegant."

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

One line a day... Diary 2020

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

Marilyn Monroe's secret diary

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

Writers strike.

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

"He calls it the eBible."

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"