Diary Scribes Gifts

"Dear Diary - Today has been . . . er. . . the. . . um. . . most recent day in my life. . ."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

Waiting Room For Godot.

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

Sponge Blog

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

Dame Edna Sitwell

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

Modern publishing.

'I wish you wouldn't correct my grammar when you read my diary.'

Marilyn Monroe's secret diary

"His prose, however, is very elegant."

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

One line a day... Diary 2020

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

"He calls it the eBible."

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

Writers strike.